Magic Words To Avoid Damaging Relationships

In the small neighborhood restaurant, a young married couple were having dinner while they reflected on their relationship with her brothers:

– Lately things are not like before with your brothers. The last meal was unfriendly, even tense. There was a dense, uncomfortable atmosphere, as if no one wanted to be there.

“Yeah, it seems like we’ve lost our confidence from before.”

-But your brother spends the day berating us all …

“Well, you know how it is, but it is true that things have gotten worse.”

–And it seems that everything is reproach between you.

Yes, the relationship between us has changed. And it is deteriorating at times. I would love to know what is happening to us.

Suddenly, from the next table, a voice came to them saying:

– Maybe you are forgetting the magic words.

They were amazed. The first sensation was undoubtedly angry: how did someone get into your conversation in this way? But without even time to react, the person who had questioned them turned to them again.

– Excuse me, I’m very sorry. I know it was a full-blown meddling …

The couple replied:

– Don’t hesitate!

– Let me introduce myself, my name is Max, I couldn’t help but hear you, and my only intention is to help you.

They looked at each other and looked at this Max. They saw an older man, with a warm expression, who did not know why but inspired confidence.

They told them:

-Well, since it’s inside, at least it helps us! Explain yourself a bit.

-Of course, so I pretend. I was telling you that maybe you are forgetting the magic words.

“Yeah, we heard that.” But what exactly does it mean?

–Look, relationships, if they are not worked on, deteriorate (as it seems to happen with yours with your siblings) and an important part of this work consists in never stopping using a series of words and expressions that protect those relationships. They are what I call the magic words.

“Are you going to at least tell us?”

-They are very simple and pure common sense. Try to get them right. The first has to do with gratitude.

– Thanks!

– Effectively. Easy. The second has to do with the apology.

– Sorry!

– Right. It is a valid option. And the third has to do with forgiveness:

– No problem.

– For instance.

The couple looked at Max with amusement. This intrusion was proving more than interesting. He was quick to follow her explanation:

-Thank you, sorry, nothing happens. The three magic expressions to keep relationships healthy.

And the question is: “How much have you been using them lately in your relationship with the brothers?”

She took a moment to reflect. His answer was clear and concise:

-Very little.

Max let the revelation sink deep into them and, seeing their concerned faces, hastened to add:

–And it is nothing strange. Happens. Very often. The relationships between people that we trust each other fall into careless inertia.

Without realizing it, we have the confidence to tell others everything that bothers us but we forget to tell them what we like.

We justify all our mistakes, without feeling the need to apologize (totally, they are trustworthy), and we do not forgive others, without thinking that they may have simply made a mistake. We become too demanding in those relationships and they deteriorate hopelessly. And is there a solution?

-Of course. We just need to become aware and make constant and unlimited use of magic words. Be grateful for everything they do for you, no matter how natural or usual it may be. Apologize for what may have bothered you, and do not take the mistakes of others to heart.

-But you tell us that’s what we should do, but … what about them?

–They will go your way. It is something that is contagious. Do it yourselves and immediately everyone will be on the same wavelength. It is always like that in my experience, and because of my age you can assume that it is not a little that I have.

The couple were deeply surprised: was it that simple? And yes, it made sense.

Those words were rarely heard in this group of siblings lately, and the less they were used, the more difficult it was for someone to pronounce.

They had enjoyed the knowledge, it would be up to them to apply it in the first instance.
The coffees were rushed. He got up to go to the toilet and she approached the bar with the intention of paying and taking advantage of the opportunity to invite Max. He asked for the two bills and the waiter, amused, asked him:

– What two accounts are you talking about? All the tables have left for a long time. You and your partner are alone.

She turned and saw a lonely table and not a soul in the room . It seemed that this Max had never been there. Maybe it hadn’t even existed.