In Search Of Lost Time
How long have you lived on this planet?
That you don’t put your heels on wet grass.
How long has it been since you said something nice to your mother?
That you come to her house or her room without warning and you bring her a bouquet of daisies or a drill and you take what she’s doing from her hands and you sit her down and look at her and thank her for having fed you when you couldn’t.
How long has it been since you listened to your son?
That when you take him to school you spend the exit and make a journey with him to the sea and tell him that you feel proud because he is looking for his place in the world with how complicated the world is and that he is not afraid because you will always support him in each and every decision you make.
How long has it been since you smile at a stranger?
That you do not come across anyone and you realize that you are anyone to the other and you marvel at being here and now sharing moments and reality.
How long has it been since you fucked looking into my eyes?
That you don’t start off by sucking on the big toe of one foot and end up accompanied, shooting up and then at the speed of light.
How long has it been since you loved each other?
That you don’t get naked in front of a mirror and you look at yourself and you don’t hate yourself and you tell yourself how good, thank goodness that I still have skin to warn me of the pain and eyelids so that the corneas and hairs on my nose do not become lifeless to let me not get moths that reach my heart.
How long has it been since you wrote about what happened to you?
That you do not shut up the news, you turn off the mobile, lower the leads, take a shower and comb your hair like when you were a good boy or a hyperactive girl and you sit in front of the most fearsome target, you and him and you start: I feel alone.
How long have you not forgiven yourself?
That you don’t read a book and you realize that we are all the same and then you tell yourself that it is not your fault and that you can do things much better than Perry Smith and Dick Hickock or the Hungarian reporter, if you want.
How long has it been since you did something stupid?
That you do not say yes to a trip without confirmed hotels, that you do not touch a doorman at dawn and run away, that you do not go out without combing the march, that you say no to more money for many more hours.
We forget it.
We forget that every day the Earth gives us light.
We forget that every day we come back from sleep.
To a place with water and air.
Everybody.
Except for some who no longer do it.
Every day, a new opportunity.
To validate life.
While it lasts.
You tell me.
How much time do you think you have?
