Can You Be In A Relationship If You Are Not In Love?

There are couples of people who are not in love but who get along: they share some things in their life, they form a team in front of the world, they have beautiful memories together and they enjoy each other’s company. It happens, for example, to some couples who have been together for many years. They are not in love, maybe they were, but they love each other very much.

However, what happens when one of the two people is very much in love and the other is not? When love is not mutual, the person who is in love suffers. Maybe at first it doesn’t happen because the other person still hopes for the romantic miracle to happen, but sooner or later it starts to hurt.

It is inevitable: one of the most painful experiences that human beings live is not being reciprocated when we fall in love.

When the balance of infatuation is not balanced

In couples in which the feelings are not mutual, a series of enormous conflicts are generated, especially when one of the people involved does not realize that the other person is not in love: either because the other person is pretending, or because they prefer not to confront each other. a painful reality.

When you are not in love and your partner is, time passes differently for each one. Just as you do not have so much need to spend many days together, you do not have the same desire, you do not give yourself to the same extent as the other person.

And it’s easy for the other person to protest when they don’t feel cared for, don’t feel loved, or don’t feel important in their partner’s life.

The rhythms are different when we fall in love, also the intensity: that is why it is normal for the person in love to feel sad and ask us to make an effort to nurture and take care of the relationship.

It is as if we were in the same boat but each one had their own rhythm and paddled with different intensity: we did not move forward, we did not sail, and we were turning on ourselves without being able to escape.

Make a decision with your heart in hand

When reproaches multiply because one of the two people is not in love, when the relationship begins to hurt, it is important to consider whether it is possible to build a relationship in this situation.

You have to do it with honesty and trying to use empathy to put yourself in the place of the person who is in love and who suffers for us. If the other person is having a hard time, then it would be best to leave the relationship.

Ask me if it’s fair for the other person to live with the unrealistic hope of one day becoming loved.

We may feel comfortable and want to pursue a relationship in which we feel comfortable. But, even if we need company, we must put ourselves in the other person’s shoes , be honest with ourselves and with our partner and evaluate if there are conditions to love each other well and to enjoy both. And if there aren’t, the best thing is for everyone to go their own way.

I think that assuming there is no infatuation requires a lot of courage and a lot of generosity. Actually, I think it is a proof of love, a demonstration that we care about the other person, and that we want to take care of them so that they do not suffer.

If you love yourself, let him go

When we are the ones who decide to leave a relationship in which we do not feel reciprocated, we must also be brave: giving up a relationship that hurts is an act of self-care and a demonstration of love for ourselves. It does not compensate us to be in an unequal relationship in which one person gives more than the other, is more involved than the other, and receives less from the other.

It does not compensate us to stay and wait to see if one day the other person falls in love: generally if it does not appear at the beginning, it does not usually appear later, when routine arrives and conflicts arise.

We have to take care of our partners and ourselves: if there is no reciprocity, if we do not vibrate at the same frequency, if we have different desires, if we cannot connect at a deep level, if the spark of love does not arise, then the most it is wise not to continue the relationship. You can always try, in the future, to build a nice friendship.