Hypochondria, When Fear Of Illness Paralyzes Us
Hypochondria is excessive concern for health that prevents us from enjoying life. This is the story of Daniel.
Daniel lived with the constant feeling that some part of his body was not working. Due to constant concern for his health, he never managed to enjoy his life.
Even in those moments when he had no physical problem, his head kept repeating “this cannot be, surely tomorrow ill with something serious”, “you have something latent that they have not detected you”, “surely something It goes wrong”. His thoughts always revolved around diseases, fear, doctors, pain, interventions, hospitals and death.
Before any slight discomfort he felt, Daniel went to the doctor, although, paradoxically, he was a very healthy man and he was never diagnosed with anything of importance. A doctor friend of his, sensing that Daniel’s problem had a different origin than the physical one, suggested that he contact a psychologist to investigate the possible emotional causes of his worries.
Hypochondria: the fears we inherit
Daniel came to my office and we began to work on his story. As often happens, when we solve the puzzle of childhood, we understand our present much better.
Daniel had had an older brother who died of leukemia at the age of five. His parents lived through, understandably, extremely traumatic throughout their son’s illness.
After the death of his first-born, Daniel’s parents poured out on him all the fears and concerns arising from the trauma they had suffered after the death of their young son so dramatically and prematurely. Daniel, a baby of only 16 months when his brother died, did not remember anything about the process, or how his parents lived it. However, the little boy dragged the consequences of this drama throughout his life.
Parents’ concern for their son’s health ended up becoming an obsession. Visits to pediatricians and check-ups became a childhood routine for little Daniel. Before any small symptom, his parents took him on a pilgrimage by different specialists in an attempt to avoid repeating with him the story they had lived with his older brother.
All these medical visits were engraving in Daniel’s mind the dangerous idea that there was something wrong with his body and that, at any moment, he was going to become seriously ill and die. This thought, over the years, was reinforced and consolidated in such a way that, already in his adulthood, visits to specialists continued to be a keynote in his life.
Until he came for consultation, Daniel had never linked his excessive concern about illness with the death of his brother, whom he barely knew, and with the subsequent hyperprotective attitude of his parents. In successive sessions, he was able to put each element in its place and understood that there was nothing wrong with his body, that he had assimilated his parents’ obsession with health, but that it had nothing to do with him.
Also, he understood the traumatic process of his parents due to the terrible experience of the loss of a son, which made him aware that he did not have to continue carrying that burden. Daniel was finally able to leave his history and his hypochondria in the past to focus on living and enjoying his present much more.
How to free ourselves from hypochondria
It is very difficult to disarm the hypochondria, worry and constant and obsessive fear for health, since, like all obsessions, it always has a basis of reality.
The possibility of getting sick is something that is present in the lives of all of us, so it is advisable to lead a healthy life and pay attention to the symptoms or signs of illness. However, the problem arises when this personal care, totally healthy and advisable, is taken to the extreme and makes us fear, at any slightest symptom, the worst outcome. When we stop enjoying and do not live fully because of these concerns, we are facing a serious obstacle in our lives.
To free ourselves from hypochondria, in addition to seeking, facing and understanding its origin, we have to assimilate the idea that being constantly worried traps us in fear and prevents us from living fully and truly. Living has its risks, of course, no one is exempt from getting sick, but we have to assume that we cannot control everything and that control blocks us.
When we stop controlling, we start to flow. It is not about stopping worrying about everything, but about finding the balance between personal care and enjoyment of life.
