What Do Children Dream Of? Keys To Understanding Them

“Look at him, he looks like an angel,” say the smiling parents. The child has fallen asleep and begins a time that must be respected as sacred. Intuition tells us that something is happening beyond the necessary physical rest.

Sleep and dream, keys in child development

By sleeping the experiences of the day are “digested”. Not only is the information fixed, but the personality is built around a spiral of experiences and emotions.

If you sleep little, the next day the child will be tired and irritable. The risk of depression, anxiety and behavior disorders will increase. On the most physical plane, obesity and the development of diseases are favored, since defenses are lowered and nocturnal self-repair processes are not completed.

How many hours should children sleep?

There are individual differences in the amount of sleep required in childhood, but on average, between the ages of 5 and 12, children should get 10 to 11 hours of sleep. Yet few do so because of school and family schedules, television, and other technologies that ensnare them.

It is the parents’ duty to create the conditions for them to get enough sleep. But if we take dreams seriously, we must go further.

Take care of your dream world

Many things can be done so that dreams contribute to the development and well-being of the little one. A child who is subjected to excessive stimuli during the day, often inappropriate for his age, will have complicated dreams. On the other hand, if studies, games and experiences in general respect their sensitivity and needs, dreams can fulfill their most constructive function at night.

A child subjected to an excess of inappropriate stimuli for his age will have complicated dreams.

We spend a third of our lives dreaming, but only someone who is very practical or materialistic can believe that it is wasted time. During sleep our mental or spiritual life continues, perhaps in unknown dimensions. This respect and interest in dreams can be cultivated within the family.

Before going to sleep…

Traditional stories, with their characters and narrative structures, appeal to children for a reason: fantastic as they may seem, they incorporate psychological patterns that help them understand reality.

Therefore, there is surely no better idea than to read them a bedtime story. The child will probably ask for their favorites to be repeated, which is very normal and appropriate for their needs (even if it bores the parents!).

Another interesting habit before bed is to briefly review the day together, starting with the most recent.

Dreams according to age

As the years go by, the relationship of children with their dreams changes and it should also be taken into account:

• Less than 3 years old: the dreams of children under 3 years of age are as real, as physical, as the outside world. There’s no difference.
• From 3 to 12 years: between 3 and 5 years it is rare to remember dreams. You gradually advance in the understanding that dreams are personal, subjective.
• More than 12 years: it is understood that dreams are a mental and personal experience.

When dreams turn to nightmares

Often you want to reassure the child by saying that “it is just a dream”, “that it did not really happen.” Hugging, comforting, and listening, empathizing with him, can help you more .

Without questioning the child, one can inquire into the causes of the nightmare. Often responds to the process of adapting to change (home, school, family situation). It is not a negative symptom, but a proof that you are facing the new situation.

Sometimes you can discover a concern of the child that had gone unnoticed.

Nightmares often arise with conflicts that the child cannot express otherwise

Once the problem is detected, it can be addressed while awake through stories or puppet theater. The characters – who appeared in the dream or not – can show possible solutions.

The child can be taught to turn the nightmare into a lucid or conscious dream : “When in a dream you are afraid, remember that you are dreaming”

Interpret children’s dreams

In many traditional villages the day begins by telling each other’s dreams, as in the Shuar of the Amazon. Instead of having breakfast in a hurry with the radio or television on, we can get up earlier to calmly share breakfast and explain our dreams to each other.

It is more important to remember and count dreams than to find meaning

You can ask “and why do you think you have dreamed that?”, So that the child tries his interpretation. Parents can do the same with their own dreams. Each one must be above all the interpreter of their own dreams.

Faced with a very vivid, shocking or significant dream, the child can be suggested to draw it or, if he is old enough, to write a story. You may find out that you like it and start a dream journal.

According to researcher Rosalind Cartwright, those who remember their dreams more quickly and effectively overcome states of emotional imbalance. This ability can be nurtured from childhood.

When we encourage children to find creative solutions to the dilemmas posed by dreams, we strengthen their ability to play with images and symbols without feeling threatened by them.

If the child goes to sleep calm, confident and curious about what to dream, he is more likely to resort to these attitudes in his waking life.