Obligatory Optimism Wants To Screw Your Life

That the slogans of the Mr. Wonderful style do not end neither with the economic crisis, nor with an abusive relationship, nor with any other circumstance more or less beyond our reach that seriously damages our living conditions is something that everyone knows.

That many of us are already fed up with the obligation of being “positive”, of having to put a good face on bad weather without exception and prevent ourselves from crying and feeling sadness, anger or anxiety; is another fact.

That is why, ultimately, why I claim our right to be sad. To get angry. To scare us; terrify us, even. To send it all to hell, spout a few swear words and declare ourselves up to our noses about the injustices that govern our society and the particular, more or less harsh circumstances in which we may find ourselves throughout our lives.

Yes, I think that being fed up is not a burden, in its proper measure. That people have the right to be fed up and, if we force ourselves to always agree and feel nothing but gratitude for being alive (even when being alive hurts, and many, many times); If we force ourselves to do this, the joy will go from being a sincere and authentic emotion to a totally hypocritical mask and our faces will seize from so much false smile.

But nevertheless, in the midst of all this discourse of pessimism and boredom, I keep being aware of how easy it is to stagnate when you just complain about everything.

Because yes, all people have the right to complain; But what about our right to a better life? To a life worth living? Without commitment to our causes, without social struggle, without nonconformity and without a hint of optimism, I don’t think we will ever achieve lives like this either for ourselves or for those who come later.

And all this occurs to me because, in motivational group therapy, someone says that we have the right to live a less bad life.

And I can not stop thinking about the wisdom of this statement.

Because no, we are not going to give four strokes of varnish to the facade of our life and go shouting from the rooftops that the prognosis is attractive after a dismissal or a fine; after surviving, or even not having left yet, a relationship of mistreatment and abuse… and so many other situations that can despair us in the most literal sense of the word.

But what about building less bad lives for ourselves? To build a less bad life you don’t need optimistic slogans for a tube, nor do you need to resign yourself to feeding on the crumbs that fall from the table of those who are above and to give thanks for having, at least, something to put in your mouth.

No, to build a less bad life you need to be aware of how difficult it is and still keep trying. To build a less bad life you need to have that friend you can meet to shit on everything and end up laughing because at least you have each other, and that brings you so much happiness!

To build a less bad life, you need to find a therapist who fits your needs and your financial capacity, even though you are aware that you probably disagree on many aspects and will not provide you with the magic potion of well-being and recovery.

To build a less bad life, you need to congratulate yourself on your achievements, no matter how insignificant they may seem (I have also learned that in group therapy). Because only by being proud of our trajectory, of our progress, can we continue to build less bad lives. More dignified lives.

To build a less bad life, you need to fight for better living conditions for yourself and for other living beings, yes, but also to know when you deserve a break from so much social action. Because an activist or militant totally emotionally worn out from so much protesting and moving is useless to the social struggle; and, what is equal or more important, he is not in a position to live that dignified life for which he is so mobilized.

As I have mentioned before, our well-being is important both for our activisms and for ourselves; because we deserve to be able to close our eyes and rest even once in a while that we have the opportunity.

So less mandatory positivity and more realism than does not go against the desire to sow genuine smiles, I would say. More will to build lives, if not more good, less bad at least.