Do Not Look To Blame: There Are Couples That Do Not Work

When a partner doesn’t quite work out, sometimes we can’t help but feel guilty. We feel responsible. It happens to us when a relationship does not flourish or when it withers.

However, we forget that relationships do not always work because many times when we fall in love, we unite as a couple without knowing each other well and without being clear if we both have the same desire, the same expectations, the same way of understanding love and love. couple.

Why your thing doesn’t work

Humans get together to test, always with that uncertainty on top of not knowing if the couple is going to last a week, a month, a year, or twenty years. We do not know because we have not had the opportunity to get to know the other person thoroughly. Also, at first we don’t know if the other person wants the same thing that we do. It may even happen that we ourselves are not clear if we want to link and commit to the relationship.

When we start we jump into the pool but there are many things that can make it impossible for love to flourish. Sometimes it happens that everyone is at a different time in their lives, that we have different desires and needs. Then, after the first weeks of falling in love, one of the two asks the mythical question: “What are we?” And problems ensue.

It happens that when we speak we realize that each one wants something, and that sometimes they are not compatible with each other. It is not their fault or yours: two people may have the same desire to enjoy love but find incompatibilities that make it impossible. It happens, for example, when:

• One of the two wants to have a baby in the near future, but the other does not.
• One of the two people has come out of a very long relationship and does not feel like having a stable partner again for a while. However, the other person does feel like it because they have fallen madly in love.
• It may happen that one of the two people really wants to fall in love and have a love story, while the other has a partner and can not offer anything more than a relationship of lovers.
• Sometimes it happens that the chosen partner is a wonderful person but has addiction problems (alcohol, drugs, gambling), debt or any other type, which prevents the relationship from prospering. It is better to withdraw while the other person works it for you.
• It may happen that one of the two has a lot of time available while the other has little free time to dedicate to love.
• Sometimes it happens that one of the two has a project, or a great passion, which is incompatible with building a couple. For example, a person who is traveling the world or lives dedicated body and soul to his professional career, to a political cause, to a social, artistic or cultural project, to any activity that prevents him from having time available to live a romance and nurturing a couple project.
• It may be that everything is perfect between two people except for one small detail: that they live separated by immense oceans thousands of kilometers away and neither can go to the other’s country.
• Sometimes one lives very free, while the other has very strong family or economic ties that prevent him from following the rhythm of the first.
• Emotions are also important. If you are in a very strong ( and perhaps painful) personal work process, it may be difficult to be by your side and you need a time of solitude to travel inside yourself, to get to know yourself better, to heal your wounds.
• Other times it happens that, as the relationship prospers, one of the two gradually falls out of love and realizes that he prefers not to continue the relationship because he does not see a future, but he is already in it and does not know how to get out.

In all these cases you have to apply common sense: if there are too many obstacles to continue together, if you cannot fully enjoy love, then it is better to separate and not continue. The important thing is not to put all the responsibility on yourself (or on the other person) and think that sometimes relationships do not work because there are no conditions to love each other or because they are simply short relationships that do not give more of themselves.

And when that happens you have to know how to cut in time, assuming that if love does not give more of itself, it is not the fault of either of the two. It is better to end a relationship at the right time, without waiting for it to burn out, without waiting for things to go wrong: the sooner they end, the better for both.